Jokes

Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring. She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?"
He replied, "It cuts off my circulation."She answered back, "It's supposed to!"


A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blond is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."


A wife suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. The wife says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don't have a maid", said the wife.
"Well, I was hired this morning by the man of the house", the maid replied. "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" The maid replied, "he is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife."
The wife is fuming with anger. She says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000.00?" The maid says, "What will I have to do?"
The wife tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with." The maid puts the phone down; the wife hears footsteps and then gun shots.
The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?" Anxiously the wife says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there is no pool here." After a long pause the wife says, "Is this 555-4821?"