What Me, Fatty?

If you ask me what the biggest threat of a marriage life that every couple must avoid is, I must say that it’s definitely the weight scale.
I for sure don't have one at home. But yesterday I visited my wife's old place to clean the house up, and there it was, sitting under a table, quietly waiting for its next victim, the demonic weight scale from hell.
It just attracted me the same way nose job attracted Michael Jackson: I knew it would be bad but I kept thinking hey maybe it would look good. So I gave up to its lure and stood on it. And to my horror, I found out that I have gained more weight.
I have gained 6.5 kg since I got married, 4 months ago. That means I gained more than 1.5 kg each month. So logically, in one year I would gain 18 kg. In five years I wouldn't be able to fit through my front door. In ten years, I would need a crane to lift my left arm.
Now, I look at my tummy more often and worry about how big it would get, especially with the amount of food that my wife gives me. See how bad the effect of weight scale is? Sure I always thought that my tummy is getting bigger, but I always thought that maybe it’s only temporary and it would be gone after I went to toilet several times. But now after I saw that horrifying numbers on the weight scale, it was confirmed that I am getting fatter by the month. And it’s all the weight scale’s fault.