Doggy Dog

When I was in Indonesia, I met a lot of people. My mom, my dad, my bro, my colleagues, my friends, and the most annoying of all, my dog.
It’s a small white dog that my younger sister bought for my mom. But it's not just a small and useless dog, no, it is also annoying at the same time.
It's because it kept following me and trying to bite my thumb every time I am home. Unfortunately it has his cute and funny look that makes people forget about how annoying it is and instead want to lift and hug it, to which it responds by peeing on the floor because it is, after all, still a little annoying thing.

It doesn't do much actually. Its daily agenda mostly consists of running around without knowing where to go, barking at every moving object, and trying to eat every non-moving object.
So when I was at home in Bogor, the dog gladly had more things to do, such as chasing me around, burying itself inside my luggage, hiding my socks and restyling them using its teeth. Unfortunately it still didn't understand the concept of "No", so I kept chasing my dog and my socks all the time, which the dog assumed was fun for me. So now I am not sure whether I still have the same number of socks and whether they are still in one piece.

Probably some of the socks are still carried by the dog, mercilessly bitten and torn. Yeah, the dog is still cute that way.

Back Again

I was in Indonesia for three days, which explains why I was missing from this blog.

That was more or less the first time I left my wife since we got married. And for those of you who are married, you must have known what it’s like leaving your spouse for the first time.
Yes, it felt great, relieved, free!

Haha, of course I am lying. What I felt was more confusing. I wanted to go back to Singapore as soon as possible to be with my wife, but I also want to spend more time with my parents back home. So I missed my wife while I was in Bogor but I also didn't want to leave the town and my parents. As well as all the batagor, fried rice, gado-gado, soto, satay, etc.

So what I did was this: Although I was still in Bogor, I thought a lot about what I should buy for my wife. This was not very hard to do because the options were basically limited only to food, food and food.
I also sms-ed her a lot, which of course made her smile, and then throw her hand phone away because she’s in the office and too busy with her work.
Well, am glad that I did those, so that my wife knew what I did back in Indonesia, and now I am able to bring her a lot of Indonesian food and she can also eat that I ate in Indonesia, That’s provided I do not eat the food that I brought first.

A couple was celebrating their Golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon, " explained the husband. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said 'That's once.'
We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule.
I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, "That's once."


A young man was about to be married, but he had a question he needed answered. He first went to his Mother and asked, "Mom, why do women wear white dresses on their wedding day?" His Mother replied, "It represents purity, and virginity."
The young man thanks his Mom but kinda doubts her word, so he goes to his Father. "Dad, why do women wear white dresses on their wedding day?" His Father looks at him earnestly and says, "My boy, all appliances come in white."


A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"

Coming on A Jetplane 4

What do you need to do when you want to board an airplane?
Ok, first you need to get into a passenger-only area where you need to show your ticket and passport. Then after that you again have to enter another area, the immigration clearance area, by showing your passport and ticket (at this time they call it a boarding pass) so that you can wait for your boarding time. Then, after you realized that you are late because you are too busy trying many fragrances at Duty-Free shops, you the rush to an even smaller room, again by showing your ticket and passport. But it’s not your plane yet. You still need to wait in that room for a while, until the officers open a door for you to go into a very small and tight area where you cannot walk side by side with your wife because there is not enough space, and you need to sit on a chair that is designed for men the size of Barbie dolls.
And guess what, that last area is your plane cabin, where you need to stay for at least 90 minutes before you either arrive at your destination, or feel numb on your legs.

So the question is, why do we need to go into many different areas? With each getting smaller and has less facilities. Can they (again, I don’t know who “they” is) streamline the process so that we only need to show our passport and ticket once and they just give us a seat, chop our passport and throw us directly into the miserable seat?
Is there any reason they put us into long queues over and over again like that, aside from the fact that they hate us? I know that they would say that each queue and area has different function and purpose that cannot be combined; otherwise the whole airline business will collapse and the evil Mordru will escape from the airport evil underworld, but can they at least make the life of passengers easier by, I don’t know, taking away one of the waiting room? The last room before boarding the plane would be one good choice. But I don’t know whether it is feasible for them. I mean, they are the same people who think airline food tastes good. So, we’ll see.

Blast the Phone

Today's mobile phone technology is amazing. It can help people to be more effective, more joyful and, generally, more annoying.
Take yesterday morning for example. I was in an MRT, minding my own business and trying to sleep, and suddenly I heard a blazing music from a girl sitting next to me. I then realized that the music came from her hand phone. It’s not a good hand phone for sure, as the sound had the quality of a broken juicer. It’s just loud.
I saw the girl tried to look cool and showed the people how cool her music taste was. It was boy band’s music BTW, which certainly put her coolness standard at the level of William Hung’s. And, she also wore some tattoo on her arm, which was clearly made using a blue pen, with words which could only be read by someone who had been drinking vodka.

So she just blasted her music (I think it was music) and thought that she was the coolest girl on the block. Maybe one day she could carry Brad Pitt's baby was probably what on her mind.

Anyway, back to the point, it is more common to find people blasting music from their hand phone in public place. Of course when I said people I meant the immature youngsters who took porcupine as inspiration for their hairstyle. I haven’t seen an old guy do that.
I do not know why they do not use their earphone. Maybe it’s because, well, they probably don't have any idea what earphones are for. They just set their phone's volume to the max and make sure that everybody on the train can listen to their music. They don't care that other people are trying to sleep or read newspaper or study for exams; they are just too selfish to understand. Or maybe they do notice, but their brains don't have enough capacity to process it.

So maybe they should learn some manners. Wear an earpiece, for crying out loud. You know that thing, the piece that you put in your ears. They should remember that not everybody wants to listen to their music, and not everybody likes their music. How hard it is to be more considerate like that? They should do that, right?
Or else, I am going to start downloading Barry Manilow's songs into my hand phone.

Back to Life

The hardest part of getting back from a holiday trip, beside paying the credit card bill, is to get back into your normal life, where you need to wake up early, clean the house, and stare at your office cubicle walls instead of the sunset.

This morning was very hard for us when we need to prepare to go back to work. We really felt so lazy and wanted to go back to our holiday. But the holiday time was over and reality kicked in. So instead of taking our breakfast from buffet tables, we toasted our own bread. Instead of putting on tank top and sleeveless shirt, we dressed in formal office wear. Instead of walking on sandy surface, we..., well, ok, we still walked on sandy and dusty surface as we haven't cleaned our house since we left for the holiday.

Putting my mind into work was very hard for me and I usually ended up browsing the Internet, trying to find our next holiday destination. So there were many windows opened on my computer screen and concentration was divided to both holiday and work. I also needed more coffee to help me awake as my brain was still in pillow-seeking mode.

But somehow I managed to get several things done somehow, with the help of my determination, strong will and three gallons of coffee. And tomorrow will hopefully be better. Except if tonight I run away to another resorts.

Tioman Day 3

There were quite a numbers of Americans and Europeans on the resorts when we stayed there. And I noticed there was a difference in how they spent the holiday on the beach. They did not care so much about the activities that were happening and just stayed there watching the sea and reading books, whereas we, as much as we could, tried to take advantage of every activities, such as snorkeling, jungle trekking, swimming, etc, and maximized our time there because we were morons.
We ended up tired every night and felt sleepy every morning. So on that last day, we tried to do what the Caucasians did. We just sat there at the café, drinking coffee, watching the sea, reading novel, drinking fruit juice, and just having a conversation. And it felt relaxing. We stayed there for two hours and enjoyed every minute of it, except for the several times we were approached by stray cats and gave us a look as if unless we gave them our food, they were going to redecorate my face.
So we ended the stay in a high note.
Cannot wait until the next time we go on a holiday.

Tioman Day 2

The second day started with a big bang, which basically described what happened to our tummy at the breakfast buffet. We ate the amount of breakfast that's enough to feed the whole Malaysia.
We ate nasi lemak, pancake, sausages, omelets, and so on.

Then it was time for us to go snorkeling.
I did a little snorkeling before, so it's no problem for me. But it's the first time for my wife. In fact, that was the first in her life to be in the sea without having her feet touch the ground. So it was quite a terrifying experience for her. Luckily she had a supporting husband at her side, who continuously gave her hands to be hold, and sometimes crushed by her tight grip. But at the end it was quite fun for her as she was able to touched some fishes and viewed colorful corals. My hands are still in one piece by the way.

The afternoon was a relaxing one for us and we did what everybody should spend most of the time during their holiday: sleep.
We wake up just in time for another meal. So we bought a simple Malaysian burger called Ramly burger. This burger is also available in Singapore, but since the burger is originated in Malaysia, we certainly could felt a difference when we tried it: it's cheaper.
But I believed we miscalculated the timing for eating the burger as it's very near to diner time, so we still felt quite full during the diner time. I guess that can happened to us during holiday, where everything was so relaxing an we just ate without thinking of the time. No wait, come to think of it, we do that everyday.

However, we managed to get the VIP seats for diner, where we sat right in front of the sunset.

Then it's another relaxing night where we just watched the view from the balcony, for a long time, from the moment we entered the room until three minutes later, when we realized we couldn't see any view because it was too dark. So we watched the TV and went to sleep early.

Tioman Day 1

So this is the story of my trip to Tioman Islands, Malaysia.

We arrived in Tioman at around 2 pm, after a 4 hour bus ride and 2 hour ferry ride. This was the first time my wife and I took a trip as long as this together, and we must say that it was quite a new experience for us. We never had this kind of trip before, where we need to prevent our self from throwing up for six hours.
It's because the Malaysians somehow couldn't figure out how to make a straight road and made a full zig-zag road all the way, which made us feel like stucking our whole hand into our throat.

But luckily we got a better bus, with better seats and bigger legs area. Unfortunately, in Singapore and Malaysia, a better bus also means bus with crazy air conditioner level that can be set to Antarctic mode.

However when we arrived at Tioman, we suddenly forgot about the freezing ride and we were step on the new land and feel our body filled with a brand new feeling. A feeling of being burned alive.
Tioman was so hot this time of year. We put two inch thick of sun block and still felt like our skin was pinched by burning torches. So we saw that there were only a few people playing on the beach.
And as we always had a simple rule for being under such a harsh sunlight (which is: Don't!), we decided to do what we always do best: We ate.

Lucky for us, there were a lot of eating places that serves Malaysian's trademark. such as ice kachang, ramly's burger, mee goreng, all served with flies flying around the food, as usual. However, the food there tasted good. Even the buffet diner and breakfast were excellent.

Afternoon was free time for us. We just took stroll along the beach, took some pictures and enjoy the nice breeze as well as the growing skin cancer from the UV ray. The view was nice and the sunset was breathtaking. So we just enjoyed it and relaxed ourself.

When I visited Redang island a few years back, there were unfortunately only a few things that we could do at night, such as walking on the beach, visited the nearby resort, etc. But when the night comes at Tioman, I could say that it was different; there was absolutely nothing to do here.
There was insufficient light on the beach. So we just stayed in our room and watched TV, which most of the time showed a classic TV program called static.

We stayed at Paya Beach Resort. Our room itself met the Malaysian standard of comfortable hotel, which basically meant it looked good and had a hygiene level of a cockroach. However, I expected worse.

Finally we ended the day early because we felt tired burned by the sun the whole day, and tomorrow we need to start early for breakfast and snorkeling trip, and more breakfast.

Blog Break

Am going for a short trip to Tioman Island and will only be back on Saturday night. So I won’t be able to touch this blog.
My wife and I are just tired from planning our honeymoon as we both do not have enough free day to spare. So we decided to just take a short getaway first for 3 days and after that we are going to continue planning for the honeymoon. So maybe we can call this pre honeymoon, if there is such a thing.
Hopefully I'll be able to write what happen on the trip when we are back.
So until then.

Tripping

My wife and I are going to take a short trip to Malaysia. And as you might have guessed from the direction of my previous blog posts, it's very different from when I traveled in the past.

The first main difference is that now I am turning into my mom.
Instead of thinking about what kind of games that we should bring, I am worrying more about what kinds of medicine that I need to bring. Really. Now I have in my bag: Panadol, band aid, diarrhea pills, many Chinese medicines, and so on.
I mean, I was the kind of guy who brought only three shirts and three underwear for a week holiday at Puncak. I know it's dirty, I just didn't know it then. But now, I cannot stay one night out without bringing a bag the size of a 3-door refrigerator.

The second difference is that now I am turning into my dad, in the sense that I don't know where my things are.
Now that I am married, my wife just takes the liberty of packing my things. I didn't know which drawer my swimwear was, and now I don't know on which part of my bag she put it in, assuming that she has put it in.
So far my duty in terms of packing for this trip is taking out my bag from the storage room, which fortunately I know where at.

So now the problem is I don't know what things that she has packed for me and whether the things that I need to bring have been put inside the bag. But if she has packed more than three shirts and underwear, I believe I am going to be fine.

Kartini & Kartono

Can you imagine that some fifty years ago in Indonesia women could not work in the office, could not say no to the husband, and couldn't wear jeans and trousers?
Can you imagine that such things ever happened in our history? And can you imagine how great it was?

Oops sorry. Of course I was talking from men's perspective. As today is very near to 21 April, let’s talk more about women’s rights.
April 21st is the day where women in Indonesia commemorate the work of Kartini, a woman who, through her struggle and endurance, enabled today's women, throughout the country, to realize one important thing: how inconvenient it is to wear kebaya dress in school during Kartini's celebration.

But Kartini also showed women that they should have equal rights. So thanks to her, now women can get a job in any field that they want (including a bus driver, really), wear any clothes that they want, shout to their husbands any words that they want. It's a great era for women indeed, thanks to the struggle started by Kartini.

So, now it's time for men also shout, "We also want equal right!"
Now it's okay for women to do everything that men do. But when a man does something that belongs to women, all other men will look at him in a way that makes him feels like he forgets to put his pants on. If you don't believe me, try to wear mascara and lipstick to your office.
Men also want women's rights. Some of them at least. Men also want to spend hours in the bathroom (mostly fall asleep). Men also want to throw tantrum without any valid reason and have women agreeing with them (it's the time of the month). Men also want to ask women whether their pants make their butts look big (of course they do, but men won't believe it).

Anyway, I am just kidding about those rights (for now), because the problem with wanting equal rights is not about the rights. It’s that both parties want only the rights but not the responsibilities.
Women don't want to carry the heaviest bags, or to offer their seats on the bus to men, or to be blamed on bad financial condition.
Men, on the other hand, don't want to give birth, don't want to give birth, and don't want to give birth, period.
So for this year's Kartini's commemoration, let's not talk about equal rights over and over and over again. Let's talk about responsibility, otherwise I'm going to throw tantrum, because it's my time of the month.

Seats For Kartini

The difference between riding a public transportation in Jakarta and in Singapore, aside from the pickpockets and constant smell of Eau de Armpits, is that in Jakarta you can hardly see women stands on the bus or train.
There are some, of course, but it’s because the men on the bus cannot give their seats to the women because:
The men sit too far away from the standing women
The men do not see the women because they are too busy pretending to sleep

But here in Singapore, you can see many women stand on buses and trains, carrying a heavy load of either working papers or shopping bags or fat babies.

I had this conversation with some of my friends a few days ago. Some of them told me that it’s because women here were more independent and there was no need for men to give their seats. Others told me it’s because the men here just did not care. And I told myself, heck I needed to go to the toilet, because I did not care about that.

What happened to me was that during my first month here, I still tried to give up my seat every time I saw a woman, young or old, standing on a bus. But what usually happened next was the woman looked at me with the expression like I was about to show her my underwear, and then refused to sit.
So I just stood there, felt rejected and did not know what to do. Should I sit back? But I already stood up and was too far from the seat. Should I just pretended I was about to alight on the next stop and took the next train? Should I just stood there and act nonchalant? I didn’t know what to do after a rejection like that.
Having the bus hit a wall and me thrown outside the bus would be a great solution. But I was usually not that lucky to have such a break. So I usually just stood up and leave the seat empty, which was taken by a man who then pretended to fall asleep.

So now after having a series of that embarrassing situation, I only give up my seat to pregnant ladies, old women and men, ladies with babies, or combination of those.
So women, the next time a gentleman offer you his seat on a bus or train, just accept it nicely, otherwise the next time you hit the train, you’d see rows and rows of men fall asleep.

Watch Me Now 2

Remember a few days back I told you that there is a CCTV and in the lift lobby of my flat and that there was nobody paying attention to it?

You do? Really?

Now, do you remember when the First World War started?
Neither do I. Ah well, this selective memory.

Anyway, back to the point. I thought that the Singaporeans are just nonchalant about this CCTV and the TV display in front of the lift. But this morning when I went down, I saw an old couple stood outside the lift and did nothing but staring at the TV display. Really.
I did not know why they did that. They just stood there and making some comments and pointing at the TV. They said to each other, ”Jingkuoziangtaoweixiongleetaykhuominglaizhuoxongni”, or something like that, because I don’t understand Mandarin at all.

But then I needed to go back up. So I needed to use the lift again, while these two people were watching. So, I was thinking, this probably how TV celebrities must feel like, being in front of camera and have other people watching you, without knowing what they were thinking. For all I know, they might look at me on the TV display and thought, “Look at those legs, I bet they taste great with sweet and sour gravy”. You never know.

So there I was, standing alone inside the lift while knowing that there were two people watching you on TV display downstairs. Felt so awkward. I mean, what should I do then, just pretended that I did not care? Should I entertain my audience? Should I juggle with my bags? Did a little acrobat? Did a mime?
Luckily, I arrived at my floor before I started do humiliate myself. So anyway, I still don’t know why the CCTVs are put there. All I know is that it now makes me uncomfortable being inside the lift, afraid that there are some people watching my every move, while heating their sweet and sour gravy.

Weekend Shopping

Last weekend was nothing special. We cleaned our house, went to church, played badminton, rested, etc etc. But we did something that many husband & wife have stopped doing together. We did something that many couples have shared a silent agreement to do alone without the partner due to one simple reason: men still want to survive.
Yes, we did the impossible, we did shopping together.

I am not talking about the harmless shopping for groceries or things for the house, I am talking about shopping for clothes. Many couples have given up doing this together because what usually happens is the wife does the selecting, for both of them, and the husband just stands around and try to look interested in the clothes while he actually tries very hard to take a peek at the bra ads poster without the wife knowing (note to husbands: The wife knows, really, they do, somehow).

So what naturally happens when a wife is asking the husband to go shopping is the husband stands up and bravely tells the wife straight to her face, ”Honey, I think I am sick” Then pretends he collapses for three hours.

But we did shopping together yesterday. It’s tiring, but we did it. We went to Orchard road and look at many clothes without having to complain about a thing, thanks to my patience, determination and understanding. And to the games on my phone.
Yes, now that I have many games on my phone, I could just stand beside her while she made comments on the clothes and I just said, “Yes” then continued playing. And she sometimes did not notice that I was busy playing (women only notice when you look at other girls or bra posters). So we happily strolled down the Orchard Road together.
So guys, that’s the recipe for happy married shopping. The women selecting and trying out clothes, and the men shooting laser to the Evil Zomba from planet Xorknia.

Tax Deadline

Next week is the deadline of income tax filing in Singapore (18 Apr?). So the whole country will be busy next week doing the same thing: screaming at and banging the computer screen because the website of tax body (IRAS) in Singapore is jammed.
As it is easier to file online, the whole country will access the website around a week before the deadline.

Yes, it's very easy to file your tax here. And surprisingly, the tax system in Singapore is quite understandable, unlike the system in Indonesia, where the amount of tax that you need to pay depends solely on what kind of yacht that the tax officer is planning to buy that year.
The calculation in Singapore is as follows:
1) If you earn less than SGD 20.000 per year, you don't need to pay tax
2) If your earning is more than SGD 20,000, you need to pay 10%, progressively
3) If you ever take two seats for yourself in a full bus, with many people standing, including 104-year-old pregnant lady who carries 20 kg of groceries, then you need to pay SGD 2 million and your index finger to the IRAS.
Sorry the last one is added by me. But I think that’s a nice addition.

Anyway, the tax in Singapore is not as high as other countries, although I heard some Singaporeans complained about it. But the nice thing is that no matter how much you pay for the tax, to the government, you can be sure that the money will be back to you, in the form of security, GDP growth, more train lines, more CCTV to watch your every move, even when you are dancing around your house naked.
So, I must say it’s worth it. Therefore, let’s submit our income tax! As soon as I can get through this congested website.

Coming on A Jetplane 3

There's another thing that bothers me about airline, which I believe has been one of the greatest mysteries to mankind for years, just like the black hole, or Donald Trump's hair.
I am talking of course about the airfare.
Have you ever asked someone sit next to you on a flight how much he pays for the ride? I guarantee you that it's difference from how much you are paying. And it's usually lower.

Nobody understands how airline fixes the airfare, which I suspect is by having a chimpanzee hitting keypads randomly. I tried to ask my friend who worked in a travel agency once, but then he looked confused. "It involves Pythagoras ... and the first alphabet of your family name!"
Of course he was only kidding. I think. But I hope he wasn't, because the truth is that there are so many factors that influence the fare, such as the time of booking, the class type, the discount, and the direction of the wind.

So it's only common that your air ticket cost more than that of other passengers, which you usually compensate by stealing anything that can be fitted in your cabin bag. Fork, cup, blanket, flight attendant's phone number, you name it.

But now is the era of budget airlines, which somehow manage to give a same fare to everybody, with fortunately same service, except for the plastic utensils that they are using, which are not worth stealing.

Watch Me Now

When your country is so rich and technologically advance, you cannot imagine the kind of facilities that the government gives to its people. It's always a surprise, and not always in a good way, unfortunately.

Well, I like most of the technologies implemented. I like the EZ-Link card, which you only need to tap on bus's & train's sensor to pay the fare. I like the GPS put in every bus and bus stations that display where the buses are. I like the every thing online, such as online tax, so that we can easily pay our tax online using credit card, and at the end of the month we just simply receive the bill for that tax, along with a computer notebook, a Mont Blanc pen and a year subscription to Playboy magazine, because apparently somebody has hacked your credit card number.

But today I saw that they put CCTV inside my flat's lift and display the picture outside the lift on the first floor. I mean, what's that for? Why do we need that? Are they worried that there might be bad accident happens inside the lift? For instance ... umm.. actually I can't think of any... mmm... people are choked? In which the people watching the TV outside cannot do anything except trying very hard to explain to their children why the man's face turns blue.

And I saw the people in the neighborhood did not even pay any attention to the TV. They glanced at it and just continued what they were doing. It's very different if it happened in Indonesia. People would get very excited to see the TV, and then steal it on the first night.

I don't know. Maybe it's a good thing to have a camera there, three cameras actually, per lift. Maybe people will not be able to do any indecent things inside the lift, such as urinating (which I heard happened a lot in Singapore). Maybe there will be fewer robberies inside lifts. Maybe people will prefer taking the stairs more than being watched digging their nose inside the lift.
I don't know the main reason they install the CCTV. I don't even know who "they" is. All I know is that now I can no longer sing my heart out when I ride the lift, which probably is a good thing for the country, and humanity.

Boom Boom

This is such a mindless game where you do not even need to think just point, point and point.
But how come I cannot stop playing?
Link

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go

Do you have any idea how to arrange the waking up everyday? How if you and your wife need to wake up on different times?
The problem is that I am a very light sleeper. I wake up easily to any small disturbance, such as my wife's alarm clock, my wife's opening bathroom door, and my wife's breathing.
So every time my wife wakes up, I also wake up. Of course after that I try to sleep again, which usually fails because I do not fall asleep that easily. I am like an insomniac, except that insomniac can still get sleeping pills from doctors, whereas I don’t have any prescription to get sleeping pills.

So every day I wake up too early when my wife’s alarm buzzes. My wife needs to wake up 30 minutes to one hour earlier than me to go to work. So I always do not have enough sleep and my panda eyes are getting bigger. Hmm, is it possible for the black circles to eventually cover my whole face? So that my dark eye circles problem is more or less solved, except that I would have a face tone of Morgan Freeman and body tone of Zhang Zhi Yi.

But on the other hand, on the weekend I need to wake up early so that I can wake her up, just to annoy her. No, just kidding. I actually wake up early on weekend to prepare for badminton. And THEN I wake my wife up.

So now I still have that problem. I guess I will get used to it after a while. Or is there any special alarm that can solve this problem? Special alarm that only wakes up one side of the bed? Is there any new invention in that area? Again, our scientists just need to get their priorities straight. Get out of that space shuttle and focus more on our bedroom!

Bulb-ly

When I took a bath yesterday, my vision suddenly became dark. I could not see anything and rubbing my eyes, hoping that it was only a nightmare. Then I realized that I the light bulb was spoilt.
So now I need to change the light bulb. Not a big deal, a little climbing, unscrewing the bulb and getting a little electrocution will do.

But let’s now look closely at how the light bulb was invented, because
a.) We need to appreciate how small things in life that make our life better were invented
b.) I reallly run out of topic for this blog.

The light bulb was invented and perfected in 1870s by Thomas A. Edison, who was finally able to invent the correct filament for the light bulb after trying for more than 10,000 times. For this he commented, “I did not fail, I’ve just found 10,000 ways to waste my sponsor’s money”.
No sorry what he actually said and became his famous quotation was “I did not fail, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”
So later he patented his invention and light bulb became popular.

Different from today’s light bulb, the first light bulb could last for thousands of hours because at that time people’s brain was very small.
But later the people’s brains were developed, especially the industrialists, and later the people at General Electric and its industry realized that they wouldn’t make much money if people did not change their light bulb very often. Thus born the light bulbs that need to be changed every time they are in contact with hazardous things, such as air.
This is basically the same industry strategy that’s used by Bill Gates, who released a new version of Windows and MS Office right after you bought the older version from the store.

So there you are. The short history of light bulb. I am going to write more about my life again once there is something interesting happens, ... no wait, I am married, nothing interesting is supposed to happen to me now. Ah well.

Call Me Wacky

This proves that mobile phone designers do drink beers.

Link

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. Bob Newhart
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. Zsa Zsa Gabor
Prescription for a happy marriage: Whenever you're wrong, admit it, whenever you're right, shut up. Ogden Nash
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :- The Engagement Ring- The Wedding Ring- The Suffer-Ring- The Endue-Ring

Stewardess: I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, but we left your wife behind in London. Mr. Smith: Thank goodness! I thought I was going deaf!

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

Friends of Yours

Several friends of my wife are going to come to our house this weekend. It's kinda fun, because there might be a lot of food left.
The good thing is that I know her friends who are going to come. But it just makes me think what am I going to do if the next gathering consists of people that I am not close with, such as the colleagues, the former classmates, the in-laws?

I mean, her group is not used to have me around, which would naturally cause them to talk not as free as they used to. I am also not really comfortable being a new guy in that group.
It's worse when the group consists of the opposite sex. Then it will be impossible for me to join her group and her to join mine. The conversation topics will just not match. The girls will only talk about trivial things like who's dating whom and how to make the best cake. The guys, on the other hand, will talk about profound global issues, such as how Liverpool beats Manchester United, or the latest Playstation2 games.

So now the question is what should I do when there's a gathering involving all of her ladies friends that I don't know? It was not even a question before we get married, as I could just do what all men do, stay at home and pretend to be sick.
But now that I am married, my home is also her home and that means I can no longer use the excuse. And as the house is very small, I cannot stay in other room.
I guess I need to start learning how to make a cake.

Tea Time

Another pathetic attempt to copy a menu from a restaurant in Jakarta. We failed with the food, now we tried the drinks. It’s tea with apple and mint, and it was served with a nice-shaped glass and all when it’s in the restaurant, while ours just use a special decorative item that we called “whatever that we can find in our drawer”. So instead of looking like a drink from a restaurant, it looks more like something that your mom gave you to fix your influenza.
It tastes great and refreshing though.

Food Fight

Choosing what to eat when I was single was a no-brainer. I basically followed two simple rules:
- No fish, no vegetables, no doctor- recommended ingredients
- Doesn't require me to wash any dishes afterwards.

Now that I am married, I have to think about my wife. And there's no way she eats without having a vegetables on the table. Furthermore, eating with proper utensils is a must now, which cause our kitchen basin to always be full. Plastic box and spoon are rare things in our house, whereas they were basically the main decorative articles in my old room.

Back to the food selections, we now need to compromise between healthy food (or "her food") and deep-fried food ("my food"). We serve both in the same table and force each other to eat the other's food. BTW my wife actually likes deep-fried food, it's just that she's more health-conscious than me. And because she knows that I am a whiner when I have a sore throat or flu. So she always insists that I eat enough vegetables.

Another thing that we cannot agree on our food is the amount of chilly. My wife believes that every food should have at least three kilograms of green chilly, whereas I believe that chilly should just be put in a place where it’s belong, such as in hell.

So, the compromise? She puts the chilly on the side and leaves our food chilly free, while I learn to eat chilly, which always cause me to produce enough sweat to flood Belgium, but that’s another problem.
And as for the vegetables issue, we are still on standoff so far, but I compromise by eating more fruits instead. But she does not seem to have a problem adjusting to all the chicken cutlet and chicken wings.

Indonesian Idol

I mentioned that I had lost my interest in American Idol. So I switched my attention to other similar show. Indonesian Idol.
It's actually the same as the American's except that, to put in a modest way, it's idiotic.

Am sure that the final show will showcase the best talents there are in Indonesia, but the qualifying round is so ridiculous.
This season, they put together a new team of judges, consisting of three singers and, really, a former MTV DJ. Well, I guess it's better than the previous team, which included a music video director and a radio DJ.
Probably the producer put the DJ to become the Simon, providing suicide-inducing remarks. But from the show that I watched last night, the only remarks that I heard was "Oh you have finished?". Like I said: idiotic. Maybe they should put somebody with better music sense as the judge, such as Tukul, or a kettle.

And the contestants. They're really aware that this show is going to be a once in a lifetime chance for them to look stupid on national TV. One contestant even did a Spanish dance, which was very complicated because the only thing that I saw moved was his right leg. "It's Spanish", he said, as if it explained the whole thing

But it's a singing competition for crying out loud. It's where people open their mouth and other people expect a good melody. So far what they do was open their mouth and people expect something witty from the judge. So I think I would pass on this show also. Unless they add a kettle in the judging team.

Iron Hand

From all the house chores there are, I'd probably say I hate ironing the most.
I mean, what's not to hate? You need to use some strength to press the iron, in a very hot environment, for more than an hour, and later nobody notices your hard work. It’s true, after all the ironing, nobody ever approaches me and says, "Wow, look at that shirt, ironed so well"

As I always said, our scientists have sent men to the moon, achieve great things with nanotechnology, and connect the whole world with the Internet, but they could not invent something for our shirts? No wonder the scientists are always depicted as a messy hair and crumpled shirts (Einstein is considered as the Brad Pitt in scientists’ world).
Can they invent something like wrinkle-free shirts? Wait, they did, didn’t they. But still it's wrinkle free only after we iron it for hours (somehow the wrinkle free means it’s harder to iron), and when it's out of the laundry, it's more like wrinkle spree.

Can our scientists get their priorities straight? So what if we put our men on the moon? Is there any good that affect our life directly? Except from finding out that "Your face is as beautiful as the moon" is no longer a compliment, I cannot think of other benefit that directly affects our daily life.
So now I'm still struggling with ironing and still figuring out the most efficient way to do it. So far I'm stuck with letting the laundry pile up and then letting the ironing goddess does her work.
Of course when I said ironing goddess, I meant my wife.

Home Boy

I stayed at home the whole day yesterday. I didn't get out once. Not even for a meal. I sometimes did that also in the past. But now the difference is now I am liking it.

Before I was married, I enjoyed strolling pass the Orchard Road, hanging out in the malls, trying new food, watching movies, even reading at library (am still a nerdy). But now that I am married, I prefer watching DVD at home, cooking new food at home, borrowing books from library to be read at home. Now even cleaning up the house sounds more interesting than riding MRT.

I saw my married friends did the same when I was single and I just thought that they just got lazier after they got married. But now that I am in the same shoes, seeing from different perspective, I can understand that the impression that I got at that time was 100% correct.
Now I am just too lazy to walk out, too lazy to see new things at the mall. My favorite activity is now watching my TV, and it does not necessarily have to be turned on. I don’t know why, it’s just like that.
It’s also probably because I enjoy the house so much. But seeing how small it is (not to mention how messy it before my wife arrives home), it’s probably a wrong reason. I just assume it’s just plain o’ laziness.
So if you see me spending the whole day in my couch, in front of the TV, you know that it is normal. And also please pass me the remote.

Rocky Balboa

Anybody who is older than me (15 years old) must have remembered how Rocky beat Apollo, Mr. T, Ivan Drago, Arthritis, and Rheumatism. They all happened in the movie Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III and so on.
And when people think that the series is over, Stallone comes with Rocky Balboa or Rocky XMVIII.
It's really a surprise for everybody that Rocky is going to fight again, at the age of 176, or seems like it. But that's what this movie is all about. This movie is proving that no matter how old you are, if you have a franchise as hot as Rocky, you'd better cash it in.

However, I found the storyline bored me. It's about Rocky trying to be a good citizen and to be a fighter. He stood up when people challenged him, and said right to their face, "Wuioa mooizazuu khoohuuu?", because nobody could understand his accent.

The storyline is boring at first. But at the end Rocky fights, being a fighter that he was. And we the audience groaned, being an audience with good taste that we were.
However, it's still a great good bye for the legend.

Next up: Rambo IV: The First Prostat Exam.

Google Hire Me, Please?

Free food, free massage, free gym, free haircut, free car wash, free laundry. Gosh, is this place really for working?
Google, the best company to work for.
Link

Diet Schmiet

How can we go on a diet if we are eating something like this everyday. Those are the food that we brought back from Indonesia, except for the vegetables. We cooked it ourselves.
The recipe is:
1. Take out long bean from the oven
2. Ask wife to cook

Anyway, we enjoyed the food, too much.

Pressure Cooking

My wife and I tried to cook last night. We ate some vegetables with mince meat and other types of ingredients when we were in Jakarta, so we believed that we could make the same thing.

I mean, we had many experience in cooking instant noodle and omelet, and we only saw and tasted the food in Cilantro, a favorite restaurant in Jakarta with high class chef, so how hard can it be, right? ... Right?

So we bought the ingredients, and we started to cook. Well, when I said we cooked, I meant my wife cooked while I just stood there tried to look supportive. I tried to be helpful and pass her some ingredients, but it's always either the wrong ingredients or the wrong time and place. At one time I even tried to pass a laundry detergent. Well, sugar, salt, flour, detergent, they are all powdery white. How am I going to tell the difference?

Anyway, we finally finished making the meal. And although we couldn't say that it tasted exactly the same, we could say this: It tasted completely different.
It turned out that we used different ingredients, different spices, etc. etc. But it was still edible. Sure that it'd better if we separated the ingredients first before we ate them, but it was edible. And it tasted good, separately.

And we will still continue trying, and learning. Differentiating detergent from flour would be my first lesson.

Ping That Pong

I met up with some friends to play ping pong/table tennis today.
Kind of interesting game ping pong is, mostly because it doesn't take me more than 2 steps to cover my side of the court and to hit the ball. So I would say this game has a high likeability factor, unlike soccer, where I need to take at least 200 steps plus a major heart attack just to kick the ball.

I sometimes wonder how people came up with this game. Did they see tennis game and decided to make it smaller? Well, at least that what I would do. Any game with court larger than two dining tables is too much for me. Chess would be my favorite sport ever, except for the fact that it involves other thing that I hate more than running: thinking.

So the smaller size game is better for me. But unfortunately the racket that is used for this game is extremely small. You see, the racket size is very important to me in every game. The minimum size of a racket for me needs to follow a simple rule: it must at least be able to cover my whole head when my opponent makes a smash.
So, as the size of the racket makes me impossible for me to hit the balls (that and my lack of movement), I found that I also suck at ping pong. I was tired more from chasing the ball across the room than from actually hitting the ball.

Guess I just stick with marathon.
Eating marathon that is.

Tsunami Again

Heard about another Tsunami happened today, at Solomon Islands.
Not a laughing matter. And I don't think anybody wants to remember this by laughing.
Was reminded of the same tragedy a few years back in Indonesia.
Still don't understand why it happened, still not trying to find answers and justifications either. They are beyond my thoughts.
Just wait and let go. Wait for the silver lining, wait for lessons to be learnt.
Just pray. For them. For us.

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a frying pan.“What the hell was that for?” he asked.“That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it,” she replied.“But you don’t understand,” he pleaded. “Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on.”“Oh honey, I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have known there was a good explanation.”
Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, “What was that for?” he begged.
“Your horse called!”


An extremely wealthy 80-year-old arrived for his annual check-up and smiled when the doctor enquired about his health. "Never better," he announced proudly. "I've taken an 18-year-old bride, and she's pregnant. What do you think of that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "I once knew a guy who was an avid hunter. One day he slept in, and in the subsequent rush, he dashed out with his umbrella instead of his rifle." "Go on, doc," said the old-timer "Deep in the woods, he faced a huge, angry bear, raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" Dumbfounded, the old codger shook his head. "The bear fell dead in front of him." "That's impossible," exclaimed the old man in disbelief. "Someone else must have been doing the shooting."
Sighing, the doctor gave his patient a friendly pat on the back. "That's what I'm getting at."