Two women were in a hair salon talking about their home lives when the subject of flighty husbands came up.
"It's unbelievable," one woman said. "I can never figure out where he goes at night."
"I know exactly what you mean," said the other woman. "One second he's in the house, and the next he's gone without a trace."
"Well," says a woman eavesdropping nearby. "I always know where my husband is."
"How do you manage that?" the other two women ask.
"Easy," she replies. "I'm a widow."
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" the doctor asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," the doctor said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"

Two older gentleman were talking and one said to the other, "You're having an anniversary soon, right?"
The other replied, "Yup, a big one ... 20 years."
"Wow," said the other. "What are you going to get your wife for your anniversary?"
The other replied, "We're going on a trip to Australia."
"Wow, Australia, that's some gift!" said the other man. "That's going to be hard to beat. What are you going to do for your 25th anniversary?"
"Oh, I'll probably go back and get her."